Conspiracy Theories You Never Hear About
Life's a Beachy
The Amish are trying to take over the world's political and economic power. The money they have saved by not using electricity has given them the funds to buy majority stock in most major international businesses. Most politicians are in the pocket of Big Amish as well. Look forward to the 2009 fall fashions including the return of the calf-length solid-color dress, suspenders, bonnets, and straw hats--but no buttons.
Paulbearers
The "Paul is Dead" theory, referring to the idea that Paul McCartney of the Beatles died in 1966, was created solely to cover up the fact that Paul Newman died in 1966, and was quickly replaced by a perfectly-crafted robot clone. The Beatles, being much more popular than Newman at the time, were able to draw focus away from the clues sprinkled throughout Newman's films after 1967. "Cool Hand Luke" is a reference to the fact that Paul's hands were now made of cold steel; "The Towering Inferno" is a clue to how Paul Newman died (in a studio fire while filming "Hombre"). Lastly, "The Sting", a movie about con men, was a highly complex way of telling audiences that they had been conned into believing that Paul Newman was still alive.
Put a tank in your tiger
The government (not the one you're thinking of, though) has a plan to create machine/animal chimeras for the purpose of individual travel. These chimeras would be rely far less on fossil fuels, and their exhaust would function primarily as fertilizer. Automakers have been slowly easing us into this next step in a number of ways. First, the term "hybrid" has become more common regarding automobiles. Secondly, the move from fossil fuels (dead material) to biofuels (material which was recently alive) is believed to ease us into using live animals, the idea being that one form of life is much like another. Lastly, and most importantly, this explains the presence of animal names for car models, such as Taurus, Impala, Ram, Thunderbird, Jaguar, Skyhawk, Wildcat, Viper, Kodiak, and Falcon (and, to a lesser extent, referring to Harley motorcycles as "hogs").
Fooled Jew!
The Jews are actually the Amish in disguise. Didn't the beards and praying tip you off?
The Amish are trying to take over the world's political and economic power. The money they have saved by not using electricity has given them the funds to buy majority stock in most major international businesses. Most politicians are in the pocket of Big Amish as well. Look forward to the 2009 fall fashions including the return of the calf-length solid-color dress, suspenders, bonnets, and straw hats--but no buttons.
Paulbearers
The "Paul is Dead" theory, referring to the idea that Paul McCartney of the Beatles died in 1966, was created solely to cover up the fact that Paul Newman died in 1966, and was quickly replaced by a perfectly-crafted robot clone. The Beatles, being much more popular than Newman at the time, were able to draw focus away from the clues sprinkled throughout Newman's films after 1967. "Cool Hand Luke" is a reference to the fact that Paul's hands were now made of cold steel; "The Towering Inferno" is a clue to how Paul Newman died (in a studio fire while filming "Hombre"). Lastly, "The Sting", a movie about con men, was a highly complex way of telling audiences that they had been conned into believing that Paul Newman was still alive.
Put a tank in your tiger
The government (not the one you're thinking of, though) has a plan to create machine/animal chimeras for the purpose of individual travel. These chimeras would be rely far less on fossil fuels, and their exhaust would function primarily as fertilizer. Automakers have been slowly easing us into this next step in a number of ways. First, the term "hybrid" has become more common regarding automobiles. Secondly, the move from fossil fuels (dead material) to biofuels (material which was recently alive) is believed to ease us into using live animals, the idea being that one form of life is much like another. Lastly, and most importantly, this explains the presence of animal names for car models, such as Taurus, Impala, Ram, Thunderbird, Jaguar, Skyhawk, Wildcat, Viper, Kodiak, and Falcon (and, to a lesser extent, referring to Harley motorcycles as "hogs").
Fooled Jew!
The Jews are actually the Amish in disguise. Didn't the beards and praying tip you off?
posted by Casey at
10/29/2008 07:16:00 PM
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