Take me to your lawyer

On this day in 2077, Earth receives its first officially recorded visit from extraterrestrial life. Coming down in flying saucers that looked pretty much as Kenneth Arnold had described, the Martians were relatively peaceful and friendly. Their gift of the Hwnsig bird/frog finally took care of the Kudzu problem, which had turned most of the Southeastern United States into a dreadful forest that only the most toothless of hillbillies dared enter (and that was usually to try to salvage the remaining boxes of Goo-Goo clusters). With the words "I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it", the Martians removed the Gaza strip and transported it to the far-flung Yumble Nebula (incidentally, the Jews got there first and are still regarded universe-wide as the best astronomers and physicists around).

The Martian's gift of kreenx did accidentally kill the president's top advisors, wife, children, dog, Uncle Lew, his 7th grade social studies teacher, and half of Manhattan--it turns out that Martians have tougher stomach linings, who knew? The history books do tell us, however, that they were later (October 3, 2098) able to look back on what happened and laugh.

Many became angry when, on the third day of the Martians' first visit to Earth, they revealed their true motives in coming. The Martians had come to sue the estate of Steven Spielberg for copyright infringement, given their striking resemblance to E.T. They ended up making a pretty hefty chunk of change (in 2053, the U.S. government officially switched from using coins to small chunks of metal) off of merchandising, as their arrival sparked a renewed interest in classic alien films and memorabilia.