Hottest Toys, Christmas 2008

Buy-Me Elmo

Tyco realized long ago that they could release any old Elmo doll, no matter the feature, and it would sell like hotcakes. This Elmo doll has a built-in credit card reader with a direct link to Tyco Toys headquarters. Your kids can have fun buying Elmo again...and again...and again!


Nora Helmer Doll House

Your child will think that this gift is the greatest Christmas miracle of all! With over 10 different character figures included, scenes from Henrik Ibsen's sensation landmark play can be faithfully recreated! Make Nora almost kill herself! Make Dr. Rank flirt with Nora! Make Krogstad blackmail Nora and Torvald! Or, your child can create her own scenarios, based on you and your spouse's empty facade of a marriage! Your child will imagine that the parent figures give their children expensive toys to distract them from the fact that they don't spend quality time together anymore because both parents have full-time jobs in addition to their own personal problems and all-around immaturity!


Walkin' Talkin' Charlie

Film and television star Charles Grodin is back! Walkin' Talkin' Charlie stands over 2 feet tall and comes to "life" with realistic sounds and motion! With nearly 80 sensory devices to enable sight, touch, and movement, Charlie explores and reacts to his environment, interacts with you, and expresses emotion. Touch Charlie's nose and he "sniffs" your hand! Tickle Charlie and he'll "laugh"! Set Charlie in front of the television while Letterman's on and he'll repeat one of 13 different insults! And Charlie doesn't only do what he's told--as your child interacts with Charlie, he'll develop his own personality! Your child will spend hours playing with Walkin' Talkin' Charlie--a toy so realistic even you'll mistake him for the neighbor's kid!


Baby Alive Learns to Party

This highly sexualized baby doll encourages destructive, degenerative role-play for future "divas"-in-training, while helping to teach children to make having a good time a higher priority than "responsibilities"! Baby Alive Learns to Party can realistically dance, binge, purge, and make passes at your child's other dolls! Give the doll a few uppers to "wake" her up, or downers to make her "sleep". And since she's probably overdosing, she'll let you know when she's done for the night--just hook her up to her stomach pump and she'll "detox". Doll comes with booze, smokes, a variety of colorful little pills, crotchless diapers, bib and package of wipes! Baby Alive Goes to Rehab playset sold separately.


Newscaster playset

All kids love to argue with and insult each other--why not give them a socially acceptable arena to do so within? This is a toy that the whole family will enjoy--children can become mini-pundits as they blindly parrot their parents' political views! Your child will quickly learn that public discourse isn't about learning, or collaborating to create feasible solutions for complex issues--it's about winning and calling the other person an idiot! Includes video camera, set of 32 cards with starter controversial topics like "Abortion", "Censorship" and "School Vouchers", collapsible newsdesk, and a miniature "Magic Wall"!