In which the author waxes vulgar

Many of our common terms for the human sex organs have become labels and put-downs:

Dick -- jerk
Boob -- idiot
Cunt -- jerk
Weiner -- idiot/ineffective person
Chode -- jerk/idiot
Pussy -- weakling
Twat -- idiot
Pecker -- jerk
Prick -- jerk

See any trends there? Seems like anytime we want to pick on somebody for being dumb or mean, we'll throw some sort of genital slang at them. Ultimately, we're not just putting down the person--we're putting down the body parts themselves. Why do we hold in such disregard the things we try so hard to get access to?

But that's not what I came here to talk about. There's still a wealth of genital vocabulary out there, as yet unattached to any particular put-down. Now, obviously, if we leave this in the hands of the general public, these words will eventually just be used to indicate "jerk, idiot, or weakling". Think about it, folks: there are tons of other undesirable character traits that people carry around with them. Let's use the rest of our genitalia lexicon to branch out in how we put people down. Here's a starter list to get us going.

Box -- someone lacking in social skills, never gets out of the house or makes friends
Cock -- someone who's arrogant to the point of hubris
Breast -- someone who hangs around too long, and can't take a hint that they're not wanted (may work better as "third breast", along the lines of "fifth wheel")
Foreskin -- someone who surrounds themselves with possessions to cover up their inadequacies
Vagina -- someone who goes a little too far (perhaps... all the way?) with jokes, way past the point of being funny
Clam -- someone who has trouble opening up emotionally
Boner -- someone who seems only to have sex on the brain
Wang -- a moocher

It is time! Go forth! Don't walk--run! Run and hurl these epithets at the nearest offender! Create your own! Impress your friends! Depress your enemies!