Sunkist Wacky Players, part 2

Back last May, we covered the first series of Sunkist Wacky Players trading cards. These cards were included as bonuses in the Wacky Players fruit snacks boxes, and featured character drawings by MAD Magazine artists Mort Drucker and Jack Davis. Mort Drucker's caricatures have been one of the mainstays of MAD over the years. Davis is a cartoonist whose work has shown up in a number of places: MAD Magazine, advertising, and he was the guy who created the bug that screams "RAID??!" in the Raid commercials.

This second series of Football Wacky Players was accompanied by a commercial done by the Will Vinton Studios (the California Raisins guys). A brief summation of the work behind one of the commercials, as well as some screenshots, is available here.

This series also included fruit snack pieces in the shape of half of a coach's whistle. The idea was that you could glom these together and be able to use the candy as a real whistle. I remember that these pieces were aquamarine and never, ever worked as a whistle.

The following artwork was done by Jack Davis. We believe that there were nine cards in this series. Date on cards is 1990 (possibly released in 1991).



Piled-on Pete

Ht.: Varies
Wgt.: Varies
Born: Friday the 13, 1960
College: University of Hard Knocks
Acquired: Out-Patient Draft '87

Piled-on Pete has seen better days... He is always found holding on to the ball at the bottom of a big tackle - when he is found... Once had so many players on him that he wasn't found until the artificial turf was replaced... Life insurance policy has been cancelled.





Bullet Ben

Ht.: 4'8"
Wgt.: 107 lbs
Born: Cape Canaveral, Fla.
College: Air Force
Acquired: Traded as a result of the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty

Bullet Ben can't be stopped... Using every bit of his flight school training, he rockets off above the crowd and out of the stadium on each touchdown play... Has captured the power of jet engine design and stealth technology for his aerodynamic helmet... Once ran an end-around play and ended up in South America.



Hollywood

Ht.: 6'5"
Wgt.: 215 lbs
Born: Where else?
College: Long Beach
Acquired: Auditioned, Screen Tested, and Drafted through extensive negotiations

As Quarterback, Hollywood has set new football career records... most movie offers, most scripts turned down, most electric razor commercials, etc... Once pulled off a mind boggling TD pass in the last 3 seconds of a playoff game while smiling at a cameraman and signing an autograph.




Sky-high Sly

Ht.: 9'3"
Wgt.: 165 lbs
Born: Denver, Colo.
College: Empire State
Acquired: 1st Round Draft '88

Sky High Sly is a premier cornerback who can intercept any pass thrown... A superior athlete with particularly long arms and jumping ability... Once intercepted a long bomb at the line of scrimmage, intended for 40 yds. downfield... Also an effective punt/field-goal blocker, once blocked a field-goal while at home in bed with the flu.




Coach

Ht.: Yep
Wgt.: Yep
Born: Yep
College: Yep
Player Experience: Yep

Coach is one of the best strategy men in the game... Known for his very complex plays - like the Double Trouble Slot Right End Pass Flea Flicker Stand Up Get Down Spin Around Draw Play - that lasted the entire quarter... Paces up and down the sideline wearing out turf... Never speaks during the game and communicates only in sign language... Players usually make up the plays in the huddle because they don't know what he is trying to say.

Sunkist Wacky Players, part 1

It seems that when I was younger, kids' foods were far less connected with the popular kids' media of the day. Not every product was tied to some highly recognizable pop culture character. Sure, it happened on a fairly regular basis back then--Batman breakfast cereal, Ninja Turtles pudding pies, and Mickey Mouse freezer pops, to name a few. But there seems to be much less room, or effort, these days for food companies to try out new characters for their kids' products. Instead, they'll go for the more recognizable characters from television and movies--Incredible Hulk green-colored Hershey's chocolate syrup, Spongebob Cheez-it crackers, Shrek...shoot, Shrek everything, it seems.

One of the smaller side effects is that there's a growing attrition rate among existing food characters. Wendell, of Cinnamon Toast Crunch fame, lost his pals Bob and Quello/Quienno over a decade ago; BJ of Kids' Cuisine hasn't seen his polar bear pal The Chef for quite some time now; the Cookie Crook and the Officer Crumb abandoned the Chip the Cookie Hound, who later gave up being a dog and turned into a wolf; Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy have gone the way of the dinosaur; and when's the last time you saw the Fruit Roll-Ups Wizard? And don't get me started with the Squeezits characters.

A larger effect is that there are very few successful attempts at new and original characters for kids' food products. Okay, there was that weird Crazy Craving rat-thing for Honeycomb, but that's all I can think of at the moment (what was that thing, anyway?). My point is, I find myself longing for the days of the Sunkist Wacky Players fruit snacks, days when wholly new and unheard-of characters got their own trading cards, one per box. This was in 1990.

There were three versions of the Sunkist Wacky Players: baseball, football, and basketball. Each featured shaped fruit snacks of a number of zany characters. The baseball cards were drawn by MAD magazine artist Mort Drucker.

Homerun Harold

Ht.: 7'9"
Wgt.: 380 lbs.
Born: Meantown, USA

Highlights:
Meanest and biggest dude in the league... Uses a telephone pole as a bat because regular bats snap in his hands when he hits the ball... Longest home run struck the wing of a low flying airplane... Favorite music is heavy metal.

Brickwall Bob

Body Dimensions: 6 ft. by 5 ft.
Wgt.: Ton of Bricks
Born: Lime Stone, USA

Highlights:
With bulging eyes that rotate separately - can "look back" runners on first and third base at the same time... Personal radar system detects opponents attempting to steal base... Has never been seen off the field without his brick chest protector... Works part time for the town as a speed bump.

Walking Wally

Ht.: 3'8-3/8"
Wgt.: 53-1/2 lbs.
Born: Little Walk, USA

Highlights:
Walking Wally is too short to be pitched a strike... Strike zone is less than five inches high... Has never swung his bat in a Major League game... Shattered league record for most walks in a season, in his first 20 games... Enjoys ant farming during the off-season.

Sneaky Pete

Ht.: Unknown
Wgt.: Unknown
Born: Unknown

Highlights:
Steals bases in a blink of an eye... Leaves no traces - Sometimes leaves no bases... True identity has never been revealed - Wears mask at all times... Studies voice projection in his spare time to force pitchers to throw toward the wrong base... Once vanished completely while stealing third, and reappeared crossing the plate.

Each card also lists the player's stats, which aren't funny enough to type up. I only have half of the Wacky Players baseball cards made; the whole set consisted of eight cards. Stay tuned for later posts on both the football and basketball Wacky Players teams.