M*A*S*H Season 1 Vs. M*A*S*H Season 11
Have you ever wondered who is the superior M*A*S*H cast? If you are anything like me, and I am sure you are, it keeps you awake at night. So here we go.
Who would win in this battle of the titans?
First, let's break down the two teams:
Season 1
Radar Vs. Klinger
This is a no-brainer. Radar by a mile. He can anticipate Klinger's every dress impeded move. Klinger my have the brawn, but that nose is also a pretty big target for Radar's army of small pets.
This might seem like another Radar Vs. Klinger knockout for Potter, but don't forget how sharp Blake can be. Especially around the head. The first blow Potter landed might be has last due to Blake's Hat-o-Tackle-o-Death. Then Blake's ongoing training with the camp nurses would kick in while Potter, winded due to too many lonely nights straight to a Zane Grey inspired dreamland, would succumb to the Hammerin' Hank.
The 4077's head nurse went through so many changes that she is truly a different charater by the end of the show. So let's have her fight herself. This cannot be a fight to the death or the timeline would make it impossible for the later Margaret to win because she would be destroying her former self. That's a no-no (take our word for it: it's written right on the handle of our timebuggy "Don't kill your former self, your parents or any milkmen that look like they have your eyes") It is important that we mention this because Margaret wins this fight hands down. She has been toughened by years of dealing with war and getting a divorce. She is a force to be reckoned with to be sure. "Hotlips" is still meeting Frank in the supply closet. No contest.
Charles not only has the size advantage, if this duel lasted any longer than a few minutes, Charles would be able to heal his wounds. He is in line to be Boston's leading therasic surgeon. It is well known that Frank can't heal a shoe (or a dog. Choose your own pun) No matter what kind of damage was dished out, Charles would eventual gain the upper hand with this 'healing factor'. Things would go even faster if Frank pulls his sidearm. He would most likely shoot himself.
This might be the strangest of them all, but anyone who has seen the two seasons can clearly see that Alan Alda is no longer playing a part by season 11: He just says whatever Alan Alda would say if he were a surgeon in Korea. With his liberal, ivy league rhetoric he would dominate over the witty liberal, eastern educated character he once played. The laugh track that follows Hawkeye around may distract Alda, since he is unaccustomed to such pandering after years of negotiations with the network, but any advantages the younger, sexier Benjamin may wield would fall onto the cutting room floor since Alda puts on his director's hat for every other episode.
Who would win in this battle of the titans?
First, let's break down the two teams:
Season 1
- Radar O'Reilly
- Trapper John McIntire
- Henry Braymore Blake
- "Hotlips" Houlihan
- Frank Marion Burns
- Benjamin Franklin Pierce
- Maxwell Q. Klinger
- B.J. Hunnicut
- Colonel Sherman Potter
- Margaret Houlihan
- Charles Emerson Winchester, III
- Alan Alda
Radar Vs. Klinger
This is a no-brainer. Radar by a mile. He can anticipate Klinger's every dress impeded move. Klinger my have the brawn, but that nose is also a pretty big target for Radar's army of small pets.
- 4-day pass to Seoul goes to Radar.
This one might come down to a battle of the lifestyles: Trapp spends his time drinking, doing meatball surgery, tomcatting, and playing football. Beej spends his drinking, doing meatball surgery, writting letters and eating homemade cookies. It doesn't take.. well, a brain surgeon to know that Trapper is going to come out ahead in this one.
- Trapper John, M.d spins off to the finish line
This might seem like another Radar Vs. Klinger knockout for Potter, but don't forget how sharp Blake can be. Especially around the head. The first blow Potter landed might be has last due to Blake's Hat-o-Tackle-o-Death. Then Blake's ongoing training with the camp nurses would kick in while Potter, winded due to too many lonely nights straight to a Zane Grey inspired dreamland, would succumb to the Hammerin' Hank.
- Blake soars over the sea of Japan
The 4077's head nurse went through so many changes that she is truly a different charater by the end of the show. So let's have her fight herself. This cannot be a fight to the death or the timeline would make it impossible for the later Margaret to win because she would be destroying her former self. That's a no-no (take our word for it: it's written right on the handle of our timebuggy "Don't kill your former self, your parents or any milkmen that look like they have your eyes") It is important that we mention this because Margaret wins this fight hands down. She has been toughened by years of dealing with war and getting a divorce. She is a force to be reckoned with to be sure. "Hotlips" is still meeting Frank in the supply closet. No contest.
- "Hotlips" resigns her commission
Charles not only has the size advantage, if this duel lasted any longer than a few minutes, Charles would be able to heal his wounds. He is in line to be Boston's leading therasic surgeon. It is well known that Frank can't heal a shoe (or a dog. Choose your own pun) No matter what kind of damage was dished out, Charles would eventual gain the upper hand with this 'healing factor'. Things would go even faster if Frank pulls his sidearm. He would most likely shoot himself.
- Charles lays his claim to the Swamp
This might be the strangest of them all, but anyone who has seen the two seasons can clearly see that Alan Alda is no longer playing a part by season 11: He just says whatever Alan Alda would say if he were a surgeon in Korea. With his liberal, ivy league rhetoric he would dominate over the witty liberal, eastern educated character he once played. The laugh track that follows Hawkeye around may distract Alda, since he is unaccustomed to such pandering after years of negotiations with the network, but any advantages the younger, sexier Benjamin may wield would fall onto the cutting room floor since Alda puts on his director's hat for every other episode.
- Alda is immortalized in Crosswords for all time
posted by Golo at
2/11/2007 03:19:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home